I just saw an interesting (debatable) discussion on a morning chat show where one of the guests (one of those experts) said that yelling at children is just as bad as smacking them.
Really?
I yell.
I also scream, shout, holler, whine, moan and sometimes even foam at the mouth.
I don't yell at them.
I just yell in a very general, helpful, suggestive manner...
Eg. "WHY THE HELL AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THAT THE FLOOR IS FOR WALKING ON AND NOT AN ALL PURPOSE STORAGE FACILITY?!"
My kids don't even blink when I start. They've grown so accustomed to the sound of my voice that I'm pretty sure I hit a frequency that only dogs can hear. Which is why nobody ever listens to me. Ugh.
So yelling traumatising the deaf little darlings? Not so much in my house.
What my children fear is silence. Silence means mummy is very, very pissed off. My silence makes more noise than thunder.
And when the host asked Mister Expert if he ever yelled at his children, he looked surprised and said,
"Oh, why yes of course, I'm only human." Ugh. Why do I watch morning TV?
11 comments:
hmmmm....I just yelled at my kids to stop yelling at me.
Yeah I read that article in NY Times. And I'm like "wha, what?!". I wonder if the guy who wrote that have kids. Most probably not!
I married an Italian family....they only have one volume...LOUD. So is that still considered yelling?
I can relate... to the scary silence.... think that frightened me more as a kid....
OH my - I was thinking about the scary silence too. When I walk away from the scene without another word I can always hear "now you did it." behind me.
HA! yeah, the silence is always scarier than the yelling...
and, y'know - i grew up in the era of spanking, and i'm okay.
HaHaHa! Someone was telling me about this guy I think, is he the same one that said using the "I'm gunna count to three" method is just teaching them to delay doing what you say to the last minute? I use this, and I usually only have to say "one.." before Miss GG jumps up to obey - to her it just means "Yup, she;s serious, better do it". I thik I get to three maybe once a week or so. Mind you, she usually blows a raspberry first - it's wrong to strangle a 2 year old right???
I'm an avid non-yeller. But I'm a talker. So silence is very, very effective in his house too.
Silence breaks my 6 year old's heart.
I have to change my tactics often, more like rotate them, for anything to be effective. I know I have been yelling too much when they don't respond. So I start sending them to timeout. And when that wears off after a few days I threaten no TV. Most folks think consistancy is important for discipline, but not for my monsters, I mean kids. I have to keep them on their toes.
Oh, I am so totally a yeller. I don't scream, ever. But I do yell, most everything. My kids yell too. As do my parents...I come from yellers. I don't get sweet, quiet people. I admire them, but don't get them...they're an alien species to me.
My kids don't blink when I yell. They're really happy, really silly, affectionate little boogers. So I'm thinking that I haven't screwed them up too badly yet.
Oh lord if those was no yelling in my house I think the kids would think I was sick or really did finally run away. I'm vocal in my daily life so you add in toys, food, and just plain crap everywhere yup I'm yelling! It really seems to be the only way the boys actually listen to me!
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